Why do i keep dreaming about my ex when im happily married? You may find it hard to access the right information on the internet, so we are here to help you in the following article, providing the best and updated information on spiritual meaning of dreaming about your first love. Read on to learn more. We at Churchgists have all the information that you need about the spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex.
Dreaming about your first love is a sign of deep inner work that needs to be done. It may seem like you’re fighting with yourself, trying to come to terms with feelings you have towards them. Dreaming of your first love will pull up old feelings that need to be cleared out of the heart and soul in order for you to move forward in life.
The relationship we have with our first love is something we never forget because it is the person that has the biggest influence in shaping who we are. When we think back to the good times, and all of the bad times, it really makes us appreciate life and be thankful for the moments we had together. This post will provide you with insights into what your first love dreams may mean, whether it be about seeing your first love or about feeling their presence.
Why do i keep dreaming about my ex when im happily married
There are many different ways to interpret the spiritual meaning of dreaming about your first love, but most dream experts agree that it’s a sign that you need to bring more playfulness and romance into your life. Dreaming about your first love can mean that you’re feeling nostalgic for an old friend or lover and want to reconnect with them in some way, or it could be an indication that you’re ready to move on from the past and start dating again. If this dream is recurring, it could be a sign that there is something missing in your life right now—something important like romance or friendship—and it’s time for you to make some changes so that these things don’t become even more scarce in your life. Dreaming about your first love is a common dream.
Most people have had at least one dream about their first love, and many people have recurring dreams about this person. The spiritual meaning of dreaming about your first love depends on what you think about the person in your dream. If you have a positive view of the person, then it can be interpreted as an affirmation that you are moving on from them and letting go of any negative feelings or energy. If you have a negative view of the person, then the dream may indicate that there are still unresolved issues with them or other people from your past. It might also indicate that there is something in yourself that needs to be healed or resolved before you can move forward.
spiritual meaning of dreaming about your first love
It is said that a person’s first love is their strongest. While you may break up and find some other life partner in the future, no one ever forgets the first person who stole their heart.
It shouldn’t be surprising, then, that a person’s first ex can frequently appear in their dreams. And yet, every time it happens, it’s jolting. What does it mean when you dream about someone who was your first love?
“What does my dream mean?” you may ask yourself. “Does this mean I don’t love my current partner?”
Before you go jumping to conclusions or making any rash decisions, here are some dream interpretations you can look to for insight.
What it Means When You Dream About Your First Love
1. You want them to acknowledge your worth.
First loves are intense, and if yours happened when you were in your teen years, it was probably even more intense.
If your first breakup was a devastating one that ended on poor terms, dreaming about your ex might be an unconscious attempt at wish fulfillment.
If you feel as if your first love stopped acknowledging your worth at one point, then you might still have the desire in the back of your mind for them to see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished. Your subconscious wants to prove yourself to this person and make them realize they made a mistake by dumping you. Pride can be quite the devil.
2. You’re projecting your past love onto your current love.
If your first love did something incredibly hurtful, such as cheating, then you are probably wary or even scared that other men will do the same thing to you. Your current partner may be the type who would never cheat on you, but because your ex did, you’re subconsciously expecting it to happen again.
If you have a dream about your ex hurting you the way he did the first time, or about your current partner hurting you the exact same way your first love did, then you’re projecting your past experience onto your present one.
3. You just can’t forget them.
Dreaming passionately or longingly about your first love may startle you, but if you think about it, it’s not that crazy. Your first love will always be a part of you, which means that there is always the chance that it will seep into your dreams.
People dream about all sorts of things that have happened in their lives, reliving or even rewriting those memories. If you have a dream that you’re making love with your first boyfriend, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you want him back or that you don’t love your current partner.
The feelings you had for your first love were strong, and that kind of love doesn’t disappear forever, no matter how long it’s been or how “over it” you are.
4. You still have unresolved issues.
Your first love (and your first breakup) probably left you with all kinds of wounds — wounds that may still be open. Your first boyfriend may have delivered a serious blow to your self-esteem, and that kind of a hit can hurt for a long time.
Humans try to work out their subconscious or complex emotions in their dreams. If you’re still struggling with loving yourself or developing a sense of self-confidence, then it’s not unusual that the source of that problem (AKA your ex) would appear in your dreams.
5. You’re having problems in your current relationship.
If you’re currently having relationship problems, your unconscious mind may resort to dreaming about a time and place when you felt extremely happy or loved. When a person is made to endure something painful or trying, it is a natural coping mechanism to revisit a positive memory and even over-idealize it.
In this case, dreaming about your first love may just be your unconscious mind’s way of handling your current problems. However, if your relationship has been on the rocks for a while, a dream about your first love may be trying to show you what desirable qualities your new man is lacking.
6. You’re still looking for closure.
When a passionate relationship comes to a close and you lose someone important to you, it’s hard to bounce back. Someone you used to spend all of your time with is gone and suddenly there is a void in your life where that person used to be. That empty feeling is what prompts people to want closure.
If matters between you and your first love ended abruptly or badly, you may feel like the only way you’ll get over it is if you can somehow tie it up in a neat little bow. But life doesn’t work out like that. You have to realize that other people won’t give you closure. The only kind you’ll get is the kind you can give yourself.
So if you’re having persistent dreams about your first love years after you broke up, you may want to consider taking a closer look at those old emotions.
7. You’re afraid your current relationship won’t last.
People learn from past experiences. If you’re feeling like your present relationship is going off the rails, it would make sense that your unconscious mind would start comparing it to your first relationship. How did that relationship end? What mistakes did you make? What mistakes did he make?
Your mind tries to draw parallels to help you sort through your current predicament. Identify the main source of emotion in your dream and ruminate on it for a little while. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something from your dreams after all.
Reasons Why You Keep Dreaming About Your Ex
Why the pandemic is to blame for your ex dreams
There are a few reasons why the novel coronavirus has led to your ex landing in your dreams.
You’ve got more time
Whether you’ve been recently laid off (condolences) or just bored without the gym or bar to fill your non-working hours, Loewenberg points out that most folks have more unoccupied time on their hands.
“Lockdown has given many folks way more time to ruminate about their interpersonal relationships — including their exes,” she says.
Basically, the dreams are simply a symptom of increased time dwelling on the past.
You’ve been sleeping more than usual
Many people are also logging more hours snoozing than they were pre-pandemic.
“Without a morning alarm (or with a later alarm), during quarantine, many people now are able to enter the last stage of their REM cycle,” Loewenberg says.
And that stage is associated with deeper sleep and dreams recollection.
So, not only are you dreaming about your ex more, but you’re also more likely to remember it. Ugh.
You’re mourning
“Right now, we’re collectively experiencing loss of life as we knew it,” says Brooklyn-based psychotherapist Aimee Barr, LCSW. “It’s very common for past figures to make an appearance during times of grief.”
You’re lonely
Even if you aren’t quarantining alone, odds are physical distancing has led you to spend way less time with people you care about.
“It’s normal for the subconscious to return to a point in your life when you could spend as much as you wanted with people who, at the time, cared for you and vice versa,” says Loewenberg.
You’re anxious
“Due to a heightened sense of fear and uncertainty in our waking life, many of the dreams people are having right now are anxiety dreams,” says Sula Malina, therapist in training at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in NYC.
“Meaning, many people are having dreams that play out another anxiety-inducing situation (like a breakup or a painful relationship).”
It usually relates to one of these underlying issues
Every dream about an ex is as unique as that ex themselves, but Loewenberg says it generally comes down to:
- emotional dissatisfaction
- sexual dissatisfaction
- unresolved feelings about the ex or that breakup
- resolved feelings about the ex or that breakup
Exploring specific dream scenarios
These wild times have led to a long list of wild dreams, ranging from scary to sweet to violent. Below, we touch on the most common.
If it’s a long-ago ex
“Dreaming about a long-ago ex — especially a first love — is incredibly common,” says Loewenberg. “That ex becomes symbolic of passion, uninhibited desire, unafraid love, etc.”
These dreams are your subconscious mind’s way of telling you that you want more ~spice~ in your life.
If it’s a recent ex
It might seem like your subconscious is trying to sabotage all the hard work you’re doing in your waking hours to get over this person.
On the contrary, Loewenberg says, “Your subconscious is actually trying to help you heal and process how you’re feeling about the breakup.”
If they were abusive
Dreaming about an abusive or toxic ex (think: physically or mentally abusive, serial cheater, etc.) is a very common trauma response, says Malina.
According to Loewenberg, if you’re dreaming about an abusive ex, it’s likely because in your waking hours you’re still trying to find a W-H-Y behind what happened.
If you’re “beating yourself up” about this past relationship in waking hours, the dream could symbolize the abuse you’re now putting yourself through by ruminating.
If you miss them or they miss you
What qualities did your ex have that you’re missing from your life right now? For example, if your ex was funny, schedule a Zoom date with another funny friend.
What qualities of yours did your ex help bring out in you? Time to tap into those without the help of your ex!
If you want them back or they want you back
Again: Think about the qualities your ex had that you liked, or the qualities your ex had when you were together that you want back in your life!
If someone is apologizing
An ex apologizing in your dream ≠ your ex really is sorry IRL!
Rather, it’s just your brain conjuring up a scene of exactly what you wished that ex had said.
And if you’re the one apologizing? Chances are you recently did or said something that you regret. The dream = your first attempt to make amends.
If someone’s confronting the other about past wrongs
“If you’re having a dream where you’re confronting someone, you’re confronting the part of you that was harmed by that person,” says Loewenberg.
“It’s your way of slowly coming to terms with the ways you were harmed.”
If you’re getting back together
Babes, time to look deep and examine whether or not you actually would get back with an ex, should they come crawling.
If you would, it’s time to spend some time remembering why you broke up in the first place. Likely, those were some pretty damn good reasons! (A therapist or protective BFF can be very helpful here).
If, however, in your waking hours you have ZERO interest in said ex, the dream is a sign that you’ve made peace with the relationship and learned the lessons you needed to learn from it. Exciting!
If you’re falling in love again
Loewenberg says it suggests that you’re yearning to feel cared for and loved right now. A pretty freakin’ understandable want in the middle of a pandemic, no?
If you’re getting physical
Aka kissing, touching, and the like. In dreams, sex = connection.
So, it’s time to examine whether you actually want to reconnect with this ex. This is another instance where making a list of reasons you broke up can be helpful.
Loewenberg adds, “If you have a kid together, it’s not about the sex or kissing, it’s about connecting for the sake of the child.” Good to know!
If you have a kid together
Don’t go picking up a pregnancy test just yet!
In dreams, kids represent promise and new growth. Here, the dream likely means your ex allows you to give birth to a new part of yourself.
If you’re fighting
“Dreams like this suggest there’s a current conflict in your life,” says Loewenberg.
Given that we’re all going through major routine upheaval right now, this is normal.
If someone’s cheating on the other
“If your ex actually cheated on you, and you’re dreaming about them cheating on you, it’s a sign you’re bringing feelings of distrust into your current relationship,” says Loewenberg.
“If you’re dreaming that they did, even if they didn’t, then chances are there’s something in your current relationship that’s causing you to feel like the third wheel.”
Think: the Xbox, TV show, or child.
If you break up all over again
Was the split recent? Cut yourself some slack! You’re still processing.
Was it a while ago? Ask yourself what else in your life is making you feel rejected. Did you recently get fired due to COVID-19? Has one of your BFFs started texting or calling way less?
If they’re in a new relationship
Cool, cool, so you’re coming to terms with the fact that your ex is going to (or already has) moved on.
The takeaway: Time for you to do so, too!
If they’re in danger
Depends on whether or not you’re trying to save them.
If you play the knight in shining armor, there’s likely a lesson you need to take with you from the relationship.
For instance, did your ex bring out your more extroverted side? Your subconscious is reminding you to flex your schmoozing muscle IRL.
If you didn’t try to save them, it’s actually a sign that you’re letting go of that relationship. Buh-bye!
If they died
Congrats! This dream suggests you’ve let go of the past and are ready to move on.
If they kill you
Murder = forced end. Ask yourself: Did I lose a part of myself during my relationship with my ex that I want to get back?
For example, your:
- confidence
- ability to trust
- sense of self
If you kill them
Sayonara, baby! Chances are you’re having this dream cause you’ve killed off any lingering bitter feelings you had toward your ex.
That said, if you’re still carrying around a lot of anger toward your ex, this dream could indicate you still have a lot of anger and hurt to process.
Exploring pandemic-specific dream scenarios
Usually, the thought of seeing an ex IRL is a nightmare… So why now that there’s zero chance of seeing them are they making their way into your coronavirus-themed dreams? Let’s investigate.
If you’re single and dreaming about them
You don’t miss your ex. You miss human interaction! And feeling loved! And kisses!
Loewenberg recommends reflecting (not for too long, though) about the positive qualities of this ex.
Your subconscious could be putting together a list of qualities you want to seek out in a partner once this *gestures around* is over.
If you’re in a relationship but isolating alone and dreaming about them
How did your ex make you feel in your dream? Sexy, adored, cared for, or special?
Time to plan a digital date night with bae. Your subconscious is telling you that you’re feeling a little neglected right now.
If you’re isolating with a current partner and dreaming about them
Again: How did your ex make you feel?
If it’s something positive, chances are it’s been a minuteeee since your quarantine bae has made you feel that way, and you miss that feeling.
As Barr says, “Now that people are together 24/7, it’s easy for relationships to feel stale.”
She suggests trying to actively plan date (and hanky panky) nights to help reignite the spark.
If you dream that they develop COVID-19
If you still have some ugly feelings about that ex, Loewenberg says: “Your subconscious is using the virus as a metaphor to show you that you still have some ickiness left over from your ex that you need to work through.”
LOL, yes, your ex = the virus.
If you’re very over your ex, Loewenberg says it could indicate that something in one of your current relationships (romantic and/or sexual, or not) is feeling unhealthy.
Are you becoming codependent? Are you taking each other for granted? Solve for that and the dream will stop.
So… when are these dreams a red flag?
According to Barr and Loewenberg:
- when they become a consistent thing (read: nightly or bi-nightly)
- if you wake up feeling distressed and have a hard time shaking the feeling
- if these dreams mirror fantasies you’re having while awake
What if you’re in a relationship — should you tell your partner?
While communication in relationships is generally a good thing, Barr and Loewenberg agree that telling your current boo that your ex-boo is chilling in your subconscious is going to do more harm than good.
“It’s likely going to make your partner insecure and jealous, without giving you or them anything,” says Loewenberg.
Still, as Jesse Kahn, LCSW-R, CST, the director and sex therapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in NYC, says, “There are no ‘shoulds’ when it comes to relationships, as each relationship and person is different.”
Kahn adds that these questions can help you figure out what’s right for your relationship:
- Do you want to tell your partner and if so, what are your intentions and motivations?
- Are there any consequences for yourself or in your relationship if you were to tell your partner?
- How do you feel about those consequences?
How to talk about it
Should you tell your partner the intimate details about these dreams? Probably not.
But, as Barr points out, our partners are really intuitive. So if these dreams are affecting, disturbing, or haunting you, your S.O. has likely noticed.
That’s why if your partner asks you what’s going on, Barr suggests sharing the fact that you’ve been having some disorienting dreams.
For example:
- “I know I’ve seemed super in my head recently. It’s because I’ve been having super vivid dreams featuring scenes of my past, and it’s been disorienting for me. But I’m here, I love you, and you have nothing to worry about.”
- “You’re right, I have been in a weird mood. My dreams have been really disturbing recently, and they’ve been haunting my waking hours. I promise to let you know if I want to talk about it further.”
How to address the underlying issue
While sometimes a dream about an ex indicates a lingering love, resentment, or affection toward that ex, it doesn’t always!
Sometimes it highlights:
- dissatisfaction in a current relationship
- dissatisfaction with current life circumstances
- that you’ve moved on from the ex
- that you’re ready to move on from the ex
Ultimately, your next move depends on what the underlying issue is.
Regardless, Barr recommends speaking with a teletherapist.
“They’ll be able to help you unpack why these dreams are happening, as well as come up with a specific plan to help you stop them.”
spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex
Global pandemic or not, dreaming about your ex is pretty common! And it doesn’t always have anything to do with your ex at all.
What you decide to do about the dreams depends on what’s behind them. But the only way to put quits on the dream for good is to deal with the root.