Church meetings are supposed to be about edifying your fellow believers and encouraging them towards a better life. But, in all honesty, some church meetings can be pretty boring. It’s not that the material presented is boring; it’s just the actual way it’s being presented. In this post, we discuss Humorous Devotions For Church Meetings, short devotions to begin meetings, and humorous devotions for teachers.
Devotion: The most important thing to remember when you’re serving as a church secretary is that you’re doing great work.
You are making sure that the church’s records are up-to-date, and you’re keeping track of what needs to be done. You are saving your pastor time so he can focus on more important things, such as helping people find Christ.
You are the backbone of the church, and without you, we could not function.
If you’re not a churchgoer, you might be wondering what devotions are. Since they’re not particularly common outside of church circles and family prayer time, I thought I’d share this helpful YouTube video to explain devotions.
Everybody hates church meetings. It’s one of those things nobody would do if there weren’t an invisible gun pointed at their heads. That said, although I’m pretty sure I’m going to Hell, the last thing I want is for the meeting to be boring.
Churchgists is the right stop for you to obtain valuable information on short devotions to begin meeting, short funny devotional stories, encouraging devotions for church leaders, and much more. Take the time to visit our catalog for more information on related topics. You don’t want to miss this!
Humorous Devotions For Church Meetings
Worrying about the what ifs
When I was a boy, we had pre-air-conditioning features on our car called “wings.” Little vertical windows that directed outside air into the car. Open the wing and air would hit the glass and fly into the car.
The downside was that the wing also directed anything that was flying in the air into the car.
One Sunday a bee hit the wing, was jettisoned into the car and got caught in my sweater. I began screaming, “A bee! Agh! Mom! It’s a bee! I’m gonna die!”
“Pipe down!” my sympathetic mom shouted.” If you don’t bother the bee, it won’t bother you.”
I didn’t know what bothered a bee.
What if the bee didn’t want to go to church?
Certainly any bee that just hit a piece of glass at 60 mph would be bothered already.
The “what ifs” of life often paralyze us.
What if the stock market crashes?
What if I lose my job?
Here’s what the Bible says about that kind of worry.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (Matthew 6:25-27)
In verse 33 God gives the best antidote to worry:
“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
If you’re wondering what happened to the bee? I killed it with my Bible.
Ready to Use Devotions for Church Meetings
How many meetings do you conduct each month? Are you expected to lead an opening or closing devotion? Here are 20 devotions ready to use. Each devotion in this file is a two-sided pdf file. You can print the one side and distribute it to the participants while reading the devotional text provided on the numbered leader’s page.
Short Funny Devotional Stories
The story of the man who couldn’t get a date
So this guy is trying to find a girlfriend, and he just can’t seem to find one. Then one day, he finds out that there’s a party at his friend’s house. So he decides he’ll go to the party hoping he’ll meet someone there. He gets there and asks around if anyone knows where everyone else is. Someone tells him they’re upstairs playing Twister. So he goes upstairs and finds them all playing Twister. He asks if anyone wants to play Twister with him—and they all look at him like he has three heads!
So then later in the night, after everyone’s gone home, this same guy is walking home from the party when he sees another girl walking down the street toward him. He starts talking to her because she’s cute and seems nice (even though he doesn’t really know her). After talking for awhile, she finally says “I’m going to my boyfriend’s house.” The guy looks at her in shock and says “You have a boyfriend? How do you have a boyfriend?” And she replies “Well yeah… I mean come on! You’re a mess!”
And that’s how the guy got his
The other day I was getting ready to go to the gym when I saw a spider on the wall. It was making me feel tense and stressed out.
I thought, “What can I do about this?”
I remembered that I had some mints in my purse and decided to try them out on the spider.
It worked! The mints made the spider move away from its spot on the wall and go into another room.
- A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if I can’t go to heaven for being good, then please don’t let me go to hell for being bad.”
- A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What is God’s name?” Little Johnny replied, “That’s in the Bible.” The teacher said, “Yes, you’re right. It’s in Psalms 83:18.” Little Johnny then pointed to James 1:17 and said, “It’s right there too.” The teacher said, “Yes! It’s true – God does not change his mind about what he says in his Word.”
- The pastor asked for a show of hands from those who had made mistakes in their lives and done wrongs they were sorry for. He looked at the crowd as he raised his own hand high and said, “I have sinned against many people through thoughtless words or acts that hurt them when I knew better than to do so.”
The young man opened his eyes and looked around. He was lying on a bed of grass, with trees all around him. It was a beautiful day, and the sun shone brightly down on him.
He sat up and saw an old man sitting nearby, smiling at him. The old man looked at the young man and said, “Welcome.”
The young man stood up and asked, “Where am I?”
“You are in heaven,” said the old man. “Is that not what you expected?”
“Yes,” answered the young man, “but I am surprised to see an unknown place.”
“I see that you are still wearing your clothes,” continued the old man. “Did you not expect to meet someone like me here?”
The young man smiled and replied, “No.”
- The other day I was walking down the street when I saw a dog wearing a tie. He looked at me, and then he looked down at his tie, and then he looked back at me. Finally, I said to him, “Who are you trying to impress?”
- A man called his mother-in-law to say that he hadn’t seen her daughter in a while and asked how she was doing. “Oh,” said the mother-in-law, “she’s living with my daughter now.”
Short Devotions to Begin Meeting
Meditations written by Rev. Cecil H. Skibbe
Meditations adapted and devotional pages written by Rev. Marcus Jauss
Devotions for Church Meetings Full All 20 devotions
A Bit of Clay Anytime; Pentecost
A Taste of Life Time of trouble in congregation/community
A Thank You Will Do Thanksgiving; Celebrations
Benediction End of school/church/calendar year
Dashes January; to memorialize someone
Depend on the Lord July; Pentecost; time of difficulty
Have a Good Day…Unless Anytime; Pentecost; time of conflict
I Love You Jesus Anytime; Lent
Jesus is Lord Advent; Christmas; Lent
Keeping in Touch Anytime
Move Closer to the Light Start of school year; Advent; Lent
On Being Grateful Thanksgiving; on being spared disaster
Pray and Keep On Praying Anytime
Remember Your Baptism Lent; Easter; Pentecost
Stop! Look! Listen! Start of school year; Pentecost
That Little Gem Confirmation time; Anytime
The Difference that Made a Difference Advent; Christmas
The Touch of Jesus Lent; Advent; Christmas
Wait Three Days Easter
Wait Until You Get to the Corner Anytime; Time of difficult decisions
Devotions To Make You Laugh
Dear church meeting attendees,
I’m so glad we’re all here together. It’s wonderful to have this time to come together and pray for one another and discuss our plans for the upcoming year, but I just wanted to share with you a few things that are on my mind right now.
First of all, I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me lately. I’ve had some really scary stuff going on in my life lately and it really means a lot that you would take the time out of your busy lives to pray for me specifically. Thank you so much!
Second of all, I want to thank everyone who brought snacks this week. That was really generous of you! I know that sometimes we forget how much work it is when someone brings snacks every week (because usually no one else does it), but I’m glad that we have people like you who think about others when planning their meetings and making sure there’s something yummy for everyone.
And finally: could we please try not bringing so much food next time? Seriously. We’ve got four piles of cookies left over from last week alone—it’s crazy!
- When in doubt, follow Jesus’s example: don’t be a dick.
- If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all (but try not to be passive aggressive).
- Don’t be afraid to take chances—but if it doesn’t work out, remember that you’re only human and we’re here for you.
- Don’t be afraid to be yourself—we love you just the way you are!