These are the top reasons for divorce in the bible: a blog about common causes of divorces and what you can do to prevent them.
Matthew 19:9 (ESV) And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.Note that Jesus does not say this is the only reason for divorce. We find other reasons for divorce in Scripture. For a quick 7-minute video explanation by Rev. Dr. David Instone-Brewer of Cambridge, see this.
churchgist wil give you all that you ask of on reason to divorce in the bible, The Apostle Paul allowed divorce for abandonment and so much more.
The Apostle Paul allowed divorce for abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:14-15 (NIV)
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Yet if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
The Law of Moses commanded divorce for neglect/abuse
The Law of Moses actually commanded divorce for breaking any of the three marriage vows in Exodus 21:10: food, clothing, and “marital rights,” which can be defined as love, as we read in the New Testament passages earlier.
Exodus 21:10-11 (ESV)
If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish [the first wife’s] food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.
In the Book of Exodus, if a man took a second wife, it was against God’s command to reduce the first wife’s food, clothing, or marital rights (love). He was not allowed to demote her to slave status. If he was unwilling to treat her as a wife, he had to let her go so she could marry someone who would treat her properly. This is the first time that the Bible commands divorce.
The same was true for a prisoner-of-war wife who was captured during a battle. If a man took a captive as his wife, he had to do her the honor of letting her mourn before sleeping with her. As his wife, she must be treated properly, not just raped.
The Law of Moses required divorce in cases where a man reduced his wife to a slave or tried to sell her. He had to let her go and give her the freedom to marry someone else. The husband could not treat this woman any way he wanted. She was either a wife with rights, or she had to be set free. This is the second time the Bible commands divorce.
“…if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.” —Deuteronomy 21:11-14 (NIV)
This sounds like abusive marriages today where a woman has no voice and no power. All she can do is obey, like a slave. Read more about this in Chapter 6 of the Life-Saving Divorce book, which looks at many Bible verses on divorce (including verses you may never have read before).
“When a man chooses to be abusive, he breaks the covenant.
An abusive man forfeits the right to remain married…”
— Justin and Lindsey A. Holcomb[1]
The third time the Bible commands divorce is in Ezra 9-10. This is where God commands the men to divorce their foreign wives due to spiritual betrayal.
The Bible prohibited divorce only one time
God protects woman who are victims of rape. In the Deuteronomy version of this verse, it says the rapist can honorably marry the victim (by paying the bride price), but can never divorce her. The Exodus version of this verse says the father can withhold consent. He can simply collect the bride price from the rapist and say no to the marriage.
Here’s the point: There is no “get out of jail free” card for a rapist.
A man was not allowed to rape a woman, then cover up his crime by marrying her, then turn around and divorce her under made-up pretenses. Biblical law didn’t allow that level of treachery. He had to care for her properly for the rest of his life.
Now not all Ancient Near Eastern countries had such a tough law. Some just humiliated the rapist but nothing more. They didn’t force him to provide for the woman at all, much less for the rest of her life.
God’s 3,500-year-old law is better protection than what many U.S. states have today that allow child marriage. In the biblical law, the rapist couldn’t divorce her. And if he abused her, she had the right to ask the court for a divorce. And everyone knew it.
So we’ve learned that there are multiple places in the Old Testament where divorce is commanded, and this is the one time when divorce is prohibited, and it all hinges on protecting the injured one from the oppressor.
In fact, God in the Book of Jeremiah (Jeremiah 3:8), says he’s the victim of serial adultery. So he divorced Israel. God himself a divorcee.
How can we be so sure that abuse and substance abuse are serious in God’s eyes?
God doesn’t want abusive people in the church. The apostle Paul told the Christians in Corinth to end their association with any sexually immoral, drunk, emotionally or financially abusive person.
1. We should not associate with people who claim to be Christians but are immoral. Not even to eat with them.1 Cor 5:11-12 (NIV)But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.2. We are not to be partners with Christians who have even a hint of sexual immorality, impurity, or greed. Such Christians are deceivers. They aren’t going to inherit the Kingdom of God. We hear the verse about not being “unequally yoked” all the time, but this verse says we shouldn’t be partners with Christians who do such things.Eph 5:3-7 NIVBut among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.3. We can and must talk about our spouse’s bad behavior. It is not slander. This passage said that we must expose it and why.Eph 5:11-13 NIVHave nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.4. We can call a spade a spade. We can call bad behavior out, just the way the Bible does. We are to have nothing to do with such people. I know people will say this doesn’t apply to marriage, but that argument doesn’t hold water.2 Tim 3:1-5 NIVBut mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.5. Those who do not provide for their own family are the same as those who reject the faith.But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. —1 Timothy 5:8
We can love them, forgive them, and still follow the biblical commands to get away from them. We are not called to hate them. We can divorce (or separate) and walk away. Perhaps they will learn their lesson when they lose a spouse.
Of course there are people who will say, “These verses don’t apply to marriage and divorce.” Why not? How can a pastor say these verses apply to everything except marriage?
- This behavior is so bad that Christians are to be thrown out of the church according to 1 Cor 5:11-12 and Eph 5:3-7. If God wants the church to reject them, how can you ask a spouse to tolerate more than God does?
- If in God’s eyes, this person does not inherit the Kingdom of God, then they are an unbeliever. If they abandon their duty, Christians are given permission to divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:15.
- Jesus taught that marriage doesn’t exist in heaven. So one day we all stand before the Lord singly as individuals.
- Those who have abandoned their obligations to their spouse are also considered to have denied their faith, and are even worse than unbelievers. That situation falls into 1 Corinthians 7:15: abandonment by an unbeliever.
- In Exodus 21:9-11, a husband who reduced—or didn’t provide—food, clothing, and marital rights to his wife was required to let her go free (presumably to marry someone who cared for her better). Wives couldn’t be demoted to concubine status or slave status. The husband only had two choices: care for her properly, or let her go.
Does the Bible quote God as saying: “I Hate Divorce”? No! Bad Translation
The Hebrew doesn’t say, “I hate divorce” or “God hates divorce.” The translation of this verse from the ancient Hebrew language to English is incorrect. [2] The earliest English Bibles (Wycliffe, Geneva, Bishops, and the Great Bible) didn’t translate it as “I hate divorce” or “God hates divorce.” And the three most recent English Bibles don’t either.
This verse is not about God’s anger at divorce, but his anger at hypocritical, unfaithful, violent husbands who dump their wives without just cause.
Malachi 2:15-16 can be translated from Hebrew to English like this in the New International Version of the Holy Bible.
So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel,” does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful. —Malachi 2:15b-16 (New International Version, NIV, emphasis mine)
The same verses in the English Standard Version read like this:
…let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.—Malachi 2:15b-16 (ESV, emphasis mine)
The Holman Christian Standard Bible published by Lifeway (Southern Baptist Convention), translated it like this. (And the revision of the HCSB, the Christian Standard Bible, treats that phrase the same way):
So watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously against the wife of your youth. “If he hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,”at says the LORD of Hosts. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously. —Malachi 2:15b-16 (HCSB, emphasis mine)
God is not against all divorce. God is against treacherous divorce, divorce where the vow breaker abandons the faithful spouse.
And God is also against treacherous treatment of spouses, such as abuse, abandonment, neglect, and exploitation, as we’ve already seen.
In this Bible passage—the first three chapters of the book of Malachi—God says he is fed up with his people’s disrespect toward him and their disregard of his covenant with them. God threatens to cut off the covenant with Judah.
God rebukes and warns them due to their many betrayals, including the following:
- Judah disrespects God by violating the covenant. The priests cheat God by not offering the appropriate sacrifices (1:6-8).
- Judah profanes God by marrying foreign women who serve foreign gods, leading to spiritual adultery (2:11).
- Judah has been unfaithful by dealing treacherously with the wife of his youth, even though she has been his companion all these years (2:14).
This entire passage is about breaking promises. And God’s hatred toward divorce is focused on those who break the marital contract by doing wrong and acting treacherously.
First, we see the Lord is angry with the people and no longer accepts their offerings with favor.
Malachi 2:13 (NASB)
“This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.”
Why won’t God accept their offerings? Because of treachery and marrying the daughter of a foreign god (possibly meaning worshiping other gods).
Malachi 2:11 (NASB, emphasis mine)
“Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the LORD which He loves and has married the daughter of a foreign god.”
What kind of treachery does God condemn? Betraying the wife of your youth, who has been your companion and is legally your wife by the marriage covenant. Why?
Malachi 2:14 (NASB)
“Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
The treachery behind this makes God angry. He hates divorce by those who get rid of their wives wrongly.
Malachi 2:16 (ESV, emphasis mine)
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.
Many Americans (and Christians) Are Divorcing Today
The National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University reports that out of every 1,000 married women in 2014, 17.6 experienced a divorce that year. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention base their numbers off of total population rather than only married people. They found that, in 2014, there were 6.9 marriages per 1,000 members of the total population, while there were 3.2 divorces or annulments per 1,000 members of the general population that same year. (It’s important to note that, by and large, the number of those marrying in any given year is not the same group which is divorcing.)
But what about Christians? Are we doing any better? It depends. In Christians Are Hate-Filled Hypocrites . . . and Other Lies You’ve Been Told, sociologist Bradley R.E. Wright reports findings from The General Social Survey (from 2000 to 2006): “Contrary to popular belief, Christians and members of other religions have lower divorce rates, about 42%, than do the religiously unaffiliated, about 50%.” He goes on to explain that, for evangelicals, regular attendance at religious services makes a big impact on the divorce rate: “60% of the never-attendees had been divorced or were separated compared to only 38% of the weekly attendees.” While regular church attendance does seem to make a difference in the health and preservation of marriage, nonetheless divorce rates are still pretty high in the church. In his book, Wright says, “The percentage of divorced or separated Evangelicals almost doubled from the 1970s to the 2000s (25 to 46%).”
Marriage: A Lifelong Commitment
Scripture consistently communicates that marriage is a lifelong commitment. Jesus described the relationship between husband and wife this way in Matthew 19:6: “They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (NIV). Dr. Craig Keener, Professor of Biblical Studies at Asbury Theological Seminary, explains how crucial this understanding is, saying, “Jesus reminds us that in the beginning God joined man and woman together. ‘One flesh’ often refers to one’s relatives or kin, so the husband and wife becoming ‘one flesh’ should be a family unit no less permanent than our families of origin should be.”
