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My Husband Is A Pastor And I Want A Divorce

My Husband Is A Pastor And I Want A Divorce

I am a Christian woman, and I have been married for three years. My husband is a pastor, and he tells everyone that we are in love. But I don’t love him anymore. He is not the man I thought he was when we got married. He has changed so much over the past few years that it’s like we are living with two different people now.

My husband is controlling, manipulative, and violent toward me. He does not treat me like a person but more like property that belongs to him. He tells me what to do all day long, including what clothes to wear and how long my hair should be cut before he goes out in public with me (he has no problem telling me how other people should look too!). If I try to disagree with him or disagree with his ideas about something important like politics or religion then he will get angry at me until I give in just so he won’t yell anymore!

He also gets very angry if I don’t obey him immediately when he asks me something or gives an order—even if it’s something simple like taking out the garbage without being asked first! His temper flares up.

My Husband Is A Pastor And I Want A Divorce


In a divorcing family, pastors often find themselves on the hot seat. Maybe you’re in that position right now. Maybe you’re the one who wants to divorce your spouse and you suddenly feel like you’ve failed miserably as a pastor’s wife, or maybe your pastor husband is the one who wants out and he thinks his job is on the line. Either way, it can be very stressful to face judgment from those around you when your marriage has fallen apart. Join the club—you’re not alone in this!


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Joel Osteen, Elevation church in Charlotte.

Joel Osteen is the senior pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. He is the son of John Osteen and Dolores Pilgrim Osteen.

He was born on March 5, 1963 at Yale-New Haven Hospital in New Haven, Connecticut to John and Dolly Osteen who were both pastors at Lakewood Baptist Church in Houston where Joel grew up.

William H. Willimon, “Bishop of North Alabama”.

The first lesson I learned about divorce is that it’s not a sin. There’s no scriptural support for that belief, and in fact, the Bible has a lot to say about marriage and divorce. For example:

  • 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
  • Matthew 5:32

In both verses above, Jesus makes it clear that divorce is not a sin. He also says that if you are divorced because of adultery, then your ex-spouse deserves death (Leviticus 20:10). However, Jesus never says anything about what happens when two people decide to end their marriage because of irreconcilable differences or other reasons outside of infidelity. So how could anyone say that getting a divorce is wrong?

Tullian Tchividjian, Former Pastor at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale.

At the time of this writing, Tullian Tchividjian is a pastor and author. He was previously the pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida; he resigned from that position in 2015.

Tullian has been accused of sexual misconduct by Kim Tchividjian, his ex-wife and mother to his children. She is asking for him to cover damages related to their divorce proceedings before they divorced in 2014 (they were married for over 20 years).

She claims that he was unfaithful during their marriage and had multiple affairs with other women while married to her—including another woman who he moved into her home after they got married!

Andy Savage, Highpoint Church in Memphis.

>Andy Savage, Highpoint Church in Memphis.

>Andy Savage was a pastor at Highpoint Church in Memphis, Tennessee. He resigned from his position at Highpoint Church after he confessed to a sexual encounter with a teenager. He was married to his wife, Beth, for 23 years and they have two children together.

Josh Harris, former pastor of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland.

Josh Harris is the former pastor of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. He has been involved with the teachings and preaching of Covenant Life since 1981. In 2002, he became their lead pastor after he had been there for nearly 20 years as a staff member.

According to an article written by Hans Fiene, Josh Harris’s wife was “concerned about her husband’s involvement with young people” because she felt that he had an inappropriate relationship with one 17-year-old girl named Bethany Leidlein (Fiene). This is not just any ordinary woman concerned about her husband’s behavior—she is also his wife!

John Ortberg Jr., Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in Menlo Park, CA.

John Ortberg Jr., Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in Menlo Park, CA.

Pastor John Ortberg was married to his first wife for 37 years before they divorced. He had been a pastor for 20 years at the time of their divorce. His second marriage lasted 10 years until she decided that she wanted out of their relationship. Pastor John has been married now for 10 years since his second divorce and has been a pastor for over 40 years total in this time frame. He is currently working on his fourth marriage which he says will last forever because he loves her so much!

Larry Stockstill, Bethany World Prayer Center Baton Rouge, LA.

Larry Stockstill is the father of Larry Stockstill Sr., the founder of Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, LA. In December 2017, Larry Stockstill Sr. resigned as pastor of Bethany World Prayer Center after his son was accused of sexual misconduct with a minor and arrested on charges that he produced child pornography.

Larry Stockstill has been a prominent figure in the Christian community for decades—but now many people are calling for him to step down from his position at BWP because they say he’s enabling his son’s behavior by refusing to publicly acknowledge it or take any action against him (he hasn’t publicly commented about his resignation).

Craig Gross, XXX Church in Thousand Oaks and Temecula California.

Craig Gross is the founder of and a pastor in Thousand Oaks and Temecula, California. is a website dedicated to helping people who are struggling with pornography addiction, which means that Craig Gross spends a lot of time hearing about the ways that porn has impacted others’ lives and relationships. He also knows what it’s like to be married (and have children) while being addicted himself—which makes him uniquely qualified as someone who can offer insight into how these two identities can coexist peacefully.

Scott Warren and John Bryson – The Mosaic Church Los Angeles.

My husband and I started the Mosaic Church Los Angeles in 2003. The church was renamed Mosaic in 2005, and has become a place where people of many different backgrounds gather to worship and serve each other. In 2013, we moved our offices to downtown Los Angeles so that we could be closer to more people in need of help. Today our congregation consists of about 2,500 people who come from all walks of life—and it’s only getting bigger.

This has been an exciting journey for us! But sometimes there are tough days …

Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington.

He was fired by the church board in 2014, and resigned his membership in the church the following year. Driscoll was accused of being authoritarian, arrogant, and domineering. In addition to his lack of humility, he also had a reputation for “bullying” his co-workers—including other pastors at Mars Hill Church.

Mars Hill was founded by Mark Driscoll (along with two friends) in 1996 as an effort to fill a perceived gap between traditional churches and campus ministries. Their goal was to reach out to young adults who were seeking “an authentic expression of Christianity.”

Paul Pritchard resigned from his pastoral position at Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago, Illinois after twenty years of service there.

Paul Pritchard resigned from his pastoral position at Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago, Illinois after twenty years of service there.

In his resignation letter to the elders and deacons of the church, he explained that though he still believes in God, he has lost faith in Christianity as a whole and does not want to be associated with it anymore. He said that he had been unable to reconcile his beliefs about God with what he perceived as abuses within the church—and by extension within Christianity itself. Though Paul was encouraged by how many people responded positively to his decision (including many members who shared similar feelings), others were hostile towards him for leaving behind such an ambitious career path for one so uncertain.

He hasn’t yet decided what’s next for him professionally or spiritually; but whatever direction Paul chooses next will undoubtedly reflect lessons learned from this experience:

Pastors are humans too! They get divorced just like regular people do.

When you think of a pastor, what do you see? A perfectly put-together man (or woman) with perfect hair, wearing a suit and tie. You may think that they are never wrong and that they have the solution to all your problems. However, pastors are human too! They get divorced just like regular people do. They make mistakes and have to make tough decisions on a daily basis as well as hard choices in order to serve their congregation properly. It takes sacrifice for them to be able to focus on doing their job well instead of worrying about how their family is doing because of their busy schedule.


I think that the most important thing for all of us to remember is that pastors are people, too. Just like anyone else, they can have problems in their marriages and divorce just as frequently as everyone else.

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