So you’re interested in dating a pastor. That’s great! Pastors are amazing people and they should be cherished and loved. But how do you go about it?The first step is to get to know them. A pastor’s job is to help people find their spiritual paths, so they’ll likely want to get to know you and see if you’re a good fit for the church before they start thinking about dating.
Once they feel like you might be a good fit, they’ll ask if you’d like to go out on a date with them. If you say yes, then congratulations: your pastor wants to date you! If not, then sorry—at least he asked and gave it his best shot.
Right here on Churchgist, you are privy to a litany of relevant information regarding (how to know if your pastor is in love with you,challenges of dating a pastor, and so much more. Take time out to visit our catalog for more information on similar topics.
How To Date A Pastor
Speaking from both sides of the pulpit, this author shows how to enjoy dating by making your relationship companionable (rather than competitive), not taking everything personally, and learning to include your pastor in your plans for fun and romance. If you’re involved with someone who wears a robe, this is a handbook that will help you make the most of it
Dating A Pastor: Tips and Tricks
1. Keep it a Secret if you are Dating a Pastor
You are very excited that he proposed to you and want to blow it out to the world. Please, hold on! You cannot go around announcing your relationship with the pastor. It is also not yet time to introduce him/her to friends and family until he proposes to make you a life partner. Once you are certain the relationship can end in marriage, you can now introduce him/her to family and friends.
2. You are not Supposed to Sit on the Altar
Some things are meant for the pastor’s spouse alone and not a mere girlfriend or boyfriend. Sitting close to him on the alter is one of the things reserved for a legally married partner.
Some churches do not even allow spouses to sit on the altar; they sit among the congregation. So please leave the altar for him when just dating. Don’t also try to assume the position of “armor barrier” seeing to the safety of your partner.
3. Stop Posing as a Legit Spouse
Don’t forget yourself! You are just dating and not a legitimate wife so please stop posing as one. It would be best if you behave just as a girlfriend and stop already assuming the position of the church mother. You would rather be causing a stir, and that can be dangerous.
4. He is not Obliged to Acknowledge You
Don’t go boiling up when he/she refuses to acknowledge you as a partner. Wait, how do they even acknowledge you and as what? A high moral value is expected from them, and they have a reputation to keep. So know that they can’t go about acknowledging you because they don’t know when the relationship will break.
I am not trying to be a prophet of doom, but if the relationship is to break, how do they introduce their new partner? How will the church regard a pastor who keeps acknowledging a new partner every six months?
5. Don’t Think they are Hiding the Relationship
The fact that they have not introduced you as a partner doesn’t mean they are not serious about the relationship. He/she is waiting for the right time to do that. So if he ignores your presence don’t go about nagging. As I said, you are just dating and not yet a wife. Moreover, remember, there is no place for boyfriend or girlfriend in the church.
6. The new Social Media Craze
Let me quickly add this. The new social media craze has become a medium people use to broadcast their issues including relationships. You can’t go broadcasting your relationship with the pastor on social media.
As I said in point one, your relationship is a private affair so keep it as such. Updating your Facebook relationship status with his/her name wouldn’t add anything to the relationship.
7. Don’t Marry Him/her Because of the Profession
It is a terrible mistake to marry someone because of his or her profession. Hello, you are getting married to the human being and not the profession. So, if you think the pastor is anointed or popular and that makes him/her a good marriage material, forget it! I have no doubts if his/her anointing attracted you! But make sure you have some things in common outside the church.
8. His Office is not an Extension of the House
I am very serious about this, and it is time “would be spouses” stop doing it. The office is for church affairs and not an extension of your house. So, stop going in and out of his/her office as if you are visiting your washroom. If you have personal issues to discuss, the office is not the right place.
9. No Argument before a Sermon
For God sake, please don’t start a “beef” with the pastor before he gives the sermon. Let him/her have the peace of mind and a clear conscience to deliver the word of God. You can save any argument until you get home.
10. Manage Your Expectations if you are Dating a Pastor
Your relationship with the pastor wouldn’t necessarily end up in marriage. So, if you have such an expectation, you better start reconsidering it. Just like any other relationship, dating a pastor can also end in break up and when that happens, don’t go around slandering him/her. You may be the cause of the breakup, so keep the bad blood to yourself.
Don’t get Mad If He/she Fail to Attend to a Date
Pastors have many responsibilities to attend to each day. They need to take care of the church and its members so planning a date around their daily schedule wouldn’t always work.
Remember that for some pastors, the church always comes first before anytime else. So in the case, they fail to attend a date, don’t go about ranting.
11. Don’t be Acting Jealousy
For our information, he is a pastor and has been called to minister to both men and women. You, therefore, have no right to prevent other women from getting near him. Don’t forget your status of just being his “girlfriend” and not a wife. Even his wife cannot prevent other women from seeing him, how much more you?