The opposite gender can be your best friend, supporter and champion. However, it’s important to remember that sometimes people will teach you more about yourself than they do about others. The same goes for relationships; we learn how to love more by loving others deeply and learning how to care for each other in troubled times. This treatise highlights bible verses about male and female.
The theme of friendship-based care is explored at length in Proverbs. A good friend, as the proverb goes, can do wonders for your character (Prov. 27:17). A true friend will tell you the truth, no matter how painful it may be (Prov. 27:6, 9). A true friend will never leave you in your time of need and will do whatever they can to assist you (Prov. 17:17; 27:10a). You have a friend who is concerned about you.
Intimacy and friendship are both praised in the Bible. Friends were among the titles Jesus used for His followers. After Jesus had brought the disciples into the inner circle of intimacy with His Father (John 15:15) through His revealing Word, He formally “sealed” their friendship with these words (John 15:3). Jesus Christ is not the only human to have a close relationship with God. God also referred to Abraham as a friend (Isa. 41:8). As part of God’s inner circle of revelation, Abraham was included. God told Abraham what He was up to (Gen. 12-22). Additionally, Abraham had faith (James 2:23). Friendship and closeness exist. An intimate friend. This article also discusses what does the bible say about opposite gender friendships.
Bible Verses About The Opposite Gender
1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV / 42 helpful votes
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Leviticus 20:13 ESV / 35 helpful votes
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV / 29 helpful votes
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV / 29 helpful votes
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV / 27 helpful votes
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV / 23 helpful votes
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Genesis 2:24 ESV / 22 helpful votes
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Deuteronomy 22:5 ESV / 20 helpful votes
“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.
Galatians 6:3 ESV / 14 helpful votes
For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
1 Corinthians 6:13 ESV / 13 helpful votes
“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Hebrews 13:4 ESV / 12 helpful votes
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Leviticus 18:22 ESV / 11 helpful votes
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.
Exodus 20:14 ESV / 10 helpful votes
“You shall not commit adultery.
Romans 1:26-27 ESV / 9 helpful votes
For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Genesis 19:4-8 ESV / 9 helpful votes
But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them.” Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him, and said, “I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man. Let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please. Only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof.”
Ephesians 5:3 ESV / 8 helpful votes
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
Genesis 1:28 ESV / 8 helpful votes
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
1 Timothy 5:2 ESV / 7 helpful votes
Older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
1 Timothy 1:9-10 ESV / 7 helpful votes
Understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine,
1 Corinthians 7:1-2 ESV / 7 helpful votes
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Galatians 5:19 ESV / 6 helpful votes
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
1 Corinthians 11:1-34 ESV / 6 helpful votes
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. …
Genesis 2:4-5 ESV / 6 helpful votes
These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens. When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up—for the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground,
Titus 2:11-15 ESV / 5 helpful votes
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.
1 Corinthians 5:1 ESV / 5 helpful votes
It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.
Romans 1:24-27 ESV / 5 helpful votes
Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Deuteronomy 22:1-30 ESV / 5 helpful votes
“You shall not see your brother’s ox or his sheep going astray and ignore them. You shall take them back to your brother. And if he does not live near you and you do not know who he is, you shall bring it home to your house, and it shall stay with you until your brother seeks it. Then you shall restore it to him. And you shall do the same with his donkey or with his garment, or with any lost thing of your brother’s, which he loses and you find; you may not ignore it. You shall not see your brother’s donkey or his ox fallen down by the way and ignore them. You shall help him to lift them up again. “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God. …
Genesis 1:27 ESV / 5 helpful votes
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:27-28 ESV / 5 helpful votes
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Revelation 21:8 ESV / 4 helpful votes
But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV / 4 helpful votes
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
Song of Solomon 3:5 ESV / 4 helpful votes
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Genesis 19:1-38 ESV / 4 helpful votes
The two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth and said, “My lords, please turn aside to your servant’s house and spend the night and wash your feet. Then you may rise up early and go on your way.” They said, “No; we will spend the night in the town square.” But he pressed them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house. And he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate. But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them.” …
1 Timothy 1:10 ESV / 3 helpful votes
The sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine,
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ESV / 3 helpful votes
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Matthew 19:11-12 ESV / 3 helpful votes
But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Bible Verses About Male And Female
Proverbs 5:3-14
For the lips of an adulteress drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;
But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death,
Her steps take hold of Sheol.
read more.
Matthew 5:28
Verse Concepts
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Romans 1:26-27
For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.
Numbers 5:5-7
Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the sons of Israel, ‘When a man or woman commits any of the sins of mankind, acting unfaithfully against the Lord, and that person is guilty, then he shall confess his sins which he has committed, and he shall make restitution in full for his wrong and add to it one-fifth of it, and give it to him whom he has wronged.
Leviticus 20:10-12
‘If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. If there is a man who lies with his father’s wife, he has uncovered his father’s nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death, their bloodguiltiness is upon them. If there is a man who lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed incest, their bloodguiltiness is upon them.
Numbers 5:1-4
Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Command the sons of Israel that they send away from the camp every leper and everyone having a discharge and everyone who is unclean because of a dead person. You shall send away both male and female; you shall send them outside the camp so that they will not defile their camp where I dwell in their midst.”read more.
Deuteronomy 15:12-15
“If your kinsman, a Hebrew man or woman, is sold to you, then he shall serve you six years, but in the seventh year you shall set him free. When you set him free, you shall not send him away empty-handed. You shall furnish him liberally from your flock and from your threshing floor and from your wine vat; you shall give to him as the Lord your God has blessed you.read more.
Deuteronomy 23:17-18
“None of the daughters of Israel shall be a cult prostitute, nor shall any of the sons of Israel be a cult prostitute. You shall not bring the hire of a harlot or the wages of a dog into the house of the Lord your God for any votive offering, for both of these are an abomination to the Lord your God.
Exodus 35:22
Verse Concepts
Then all whose hearts moved them, both men and women, came and brought brooches and earrings and signet rings and bracelets, all articles of gold; so did every man who presented an offering of gold to the Lord.
Numbers 6:1-4
Again the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, ‘When a man or woman makes a special vow, the vow of a Nazirite, to dedicate himself to the Lord, he shall abstain from wine and strong drink; he shall drink no vinegar, whether made from wine or strong drink, nor shall he drink any grape juice nor eat fresh or dried grapes.read more.
Deuteronomy 31:12
Verse Concepts
Assemble the people, the men and the women and children and the alien who is in your town, so that they may hear and learn and fear the Lord your God, and be careful to observe all the words of this law.
2 Samuel 6:19
Verse Concepts
Further, he distributed to all the people, to all the multitude of Israel, both to men and women, a cake of bread and one of dates and one of raisins to each one. Then all the people departed each to his house.
Lamentations 2:21
Verse Concepts
On the ground in the streets
Lie young and old;
My virgins and my young men
Have fallen by the sword.
You have slain them in the day of Your anger,
You have slaughtered, not sparing.
Leviticus 20:27
Verse Concepts
‘Now a man or a woman who is a medium or a spiritist shall surely be put to death. They shall be stoned with stones, their bloodguiltiness is upon them.’”
2 Chronicles 36:15-17
The Lord, the God of their fathers, sent word to them again and again by His messengers, because He had compassion on His people and on His dwelling place; but they continually mocked the messengers of God, despised His words and scoffed at His prophets, until the wrath of the Lord arose against His people, until there was no remedy. Therefore He brought up against them the king of the Chaldeans who slew their young men with the sword in the house of their sanctuary, and had no compassion on young man or virgin, old man or infirm; He gave them all into his hand.
Acts 5:1-11
But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and kept back some of the price for himself, with his wife’s full knowledge, and bringing a portion of it, he laid it at the apostles’ feet. But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back some of the price of the land?read more.
Galatians 3:26-28
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Acts 2:17-18
‘And it shall be in the last days,’ God says,
‘That I will pour forth of My Spirit on all mankind;
And your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
And your young men shall see visions,
And your old men shall dream dreams;
Even on My bondslaves, both men and women,
I will in those days pour forth of My Spirit
And they shall prophesy.
Joel 2:28-29
“It will come about after this
That I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind;
And your sons and daughters will prophesy,
Your old men will dream dreams,
Your young men will see visions.
“Even on the male and female servants
I will pour out My Spirit in those days.
1 Corinthians 11:11-12
However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God.
Leviticus 27:1-7
Again, the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, ‘When a man makes a difficult vow, he shall be valued according to your valuation of persons belonging to the Lord. If your valuation is of the male from twenty years even to sixty years old, then your valuation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary.read more.
Genesis 17:9-14
God said further to Abraham, “Now as for you, you shall keep My covenant, you and your descendants after you throughout their generations. This is My covenant, which you shall keep, between Me and you and your descendants after you: every male among you shall be circumcised. And you shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin, and it shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you.read more.
Exodus 13:1-2
Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Sanctify to Me every firstborn, the first offspring of every womb among the sons of Israel, both of man and beast; it belongs to Me.”
Numbers 3:14-15
Then the Lord spoke to Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, saying, “Number the sons of Levi by their fathers’ households, by their families; every male from a month old and upward you shall number.”
Numbers 5:11-31
Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, ‘If any man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him, and a man has intercourse with her and it is hidden from the eyes of her husband and she is undetected, although she has defiled herself, and there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act,read more.
Numbers 18:8-10
Then the Lord spoke to Aaron, “Now behold, I Myself have given you charge of My offerings, even all the holy gifts of the sons of Israel I have given them to you as a portion and to your sons as a perpetual allotment. This shall be yours from the most holy gifts reserved from the fire; every offering of theirs, even every grain offering and every sin offering and every guilt offering, which they shall render to Me, shall be most holy for you and for your sons. As the most holy gifts you shall eat it; every male shall eat it. It shall be holy to you.
Numbers 27:1-7
Then the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph, came near; and these are the names of his daughters: Mahlah, Noah and Hoglah and Milcah and Tirzah. They stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the leaders and all the congregation, at the doorway of the tent of meeting, saying, “Our father died in the wilderness, yet he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the Lord in the company of Korah; but he died in his own sin, and he had no sons.read more.
Numbers 36:1-12
And the heads of the fathers’ households of the family of the sons of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of the sons of Joseph, came near and spoke before Moses and before the leaders, the heads of the fathers’ households of the sons of Israel, and they said, “The Lord commanded my lord to give the land by lot to the sons of Israel as an inheritance, and my lord was commanded by the Lord to give the inheritance of Zelophehad our brother to his daughters. But if they marry one of the sons of the other tribes of the sons of Israel, their inheritance will be withdrawn from the inheritance of our fathers and will be added to the inheritance of the tribe to which they belong; thus it will be withdrawn from our allotted inheritance.read more.
Deuteronomy 22:13-19
“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then turns against her, and charges her with shameful deeds and publicly defames her, and says, ‘I took this woman, but when I came near her, I did not find her a virgin,’ then the girl’s father and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of the girl’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate.read more.
1 Corinthians 14:33-35
for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says. If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church.
1 Corinthians 11:3-10
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head. But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved.read more.
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
1 Timothy 2:11-15
A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.read more.
Titus 2:1-5
But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine. Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance. Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,read more.
1 Timothy 2:8-10
Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension. Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
1 Corinthians 11:3-16
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head. But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved.read more.
1 Timothy 5:1-2
Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.
1 Corinthians 7:1-7
Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.read more.
Proverbs 31:10-31
An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
read more.
Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.read more.
Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
1 Peter 3:1-7
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;read more.
Matthew 23:37
Verse Concepts
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.
Luke 13:34
Verse Concepts
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, just as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not have it!
Proverbs 8:1-11
Does not wisdom call,
And understanding lift up her voice?
On top of the heights beside the way,
Where the paths meet, she takes her stand;
Beside the gates, at the opening to the city,
At the entrance of the doors, she cries out:
read more.
Isaiah 66:12-13
For thus says the Lord, “Behold, I extend peace to her like a river,
And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream;
And you will be nursed, you will be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees.
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you;
And you will be comforted in Jerusalem.”
Psalm 47:2
Verse Concepts
For the Lord Most High is to be feared,
A great King over all the earth.
Exodus 15:3
Verse Concepts
“The Lord is a warrior;
The Lord is His name.
Psalm 23:1
Verse Concepts
A Psalm of David.
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
Matthew 6:6
Verse Concepts
But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Luke 11:11-13
Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”
Matthew 7:9-11
Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!
What Does The Bible Say About Opposite Gender Friendships
Marriage is described in Genesis 2:23-24, with the intimate nature of the marriage relationship being revealed in verse 24: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” While a married couple’s primary relationship is with one another, they will also have other relationships outside of marriage. The question is whether or not married men and women should be restricted to relationships with those of the same sex. Does having a close friend of the opposite sex constitute a sin if you’re married?
According to the Bible, God created marriage as a special covenant between one man and one woman that lasts a lifetime. The consummation of a man and a woman’s marriage is sex, an experience that only they should have. Sinful behavior includes engaging in sexual activity with someone outside of one’s marital partner. Nevertheless, God commands Christians to form deep bonds within the church. Believers, whether married or single, male or female, are to have relationships (both same- and opposite-sex) that show the world Christ’s love through our care and acceptance of one another (John 13:35).
As God’s children, we are to be a family to one another (Ephesians 2:19). Loving God and loving one another as Christian siblings governs our relationships with one another (1 Timothy 5:1–2). Many “one another” commands in the Bible teach us how to treat each other and emphasize the importance of friendship (Proverbs 18:24; 27:17; Ecclesiastes 4:9). John 13:34, Romans 13:8, Galatians 5:13, 1 Thessalonians 4:18, and other passages command us to love and serve one another, as well as to encourage and spur one another on in love and good works (1 Thessalonians 4:18). (Hebrews 10:24). These guidelines apply to all believers, regardless of sexual orientation.
Conversely, many people have fallen into sin because they had a close friend of the opposite sex. We are commanded to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:16), and Ephesians 5:3 states that “there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, impurity, or greed” among us. All of these are dire warnings. God’s warnings about the risks of temptation in relationships between the sexes are made all the more clear by the many times throughout history when men and women of God have fallen short.
Then what is the proper response? To what extent is it inappropriate for a married person to have friends of the opposite sex? Obviously, God does not want us to permanently alienate half the world’s population the moment we tie the knot. However, there are distinct boundaries that should not be crossed, and doing so would be unwise.
Some people have adopted the so-called “Billy Graham rule,” which states that you should never spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex besides your spouse or close relatives. This is a sensible choice that will reduce the likelihood of mistakes being blamed on others. This is why many clergy and therapists shy away from one-on-one sessions with clients of the opposite sex. For added security, they request a second person be present, and if the door must be closed, they make sure there is a window. Having such limits in place is a wise decision, and for some people it may even be the right choice because it goes beyond what is forbidden in the Bible.
However, one must be cautious that adherence to one’s own set of rules does not lead to legalism. Do not commit adultery, and run away from temptation, are two such biblical injunctions. To be clear, however, there is a distinction between explicit commands and individual applications. The biblical injunction to “never, under any circumstances, be alone with a person of the opposite sex” is not to be taken literally. Equally false is the admonition to “never show weakness or have any emotional intimacy with a person of the opposite sex.” It is good and right to develop biblical convictions that serve us well. However, God’s will for the world may not align with their own personal convictions. Nobody should treat our individual moral convictions as though they were infallible biblical mandates.
Those in positions of Christian leadership should be especially cautious. Christian leaders should have a “good reputation with outsiders” and be “above reproach” (1 Timothy 3:1–7). Even if the accusations are later shown to be unfounded, they can still severely damage a ministry’s reputation. Ministers shouldn’t give anyone a chance to spread rumors about them (Matthew 5:11; 1 Peter 3:16). That’s why 1 Peter 5:1 says elders are to care for all the sheep, not just some of them. How healthy can a flock be if half the sheep never see the shepherd?
Given the foregoing, the following guidelines should be kept in mind:
• We need to stop considering members of the other sex as objects for our sexual desires. Men and women are expected to have fulfilling, equal relationships with one another. Those of the opposite sex are to be viewed as brothers and sisters in Christ (Genesis 1:26-27) and as fellow image-bearers.
• If we’re married, we have to make our partner our top priority in all our interactions (Genesis 2:24). Never go to a friend of the opposite sex in hopes of getting something from them that you’re not getting from your partner in marriage. Our spouse deserves our complete and utter honesty about all of our relationships, not just those with people of the opposite sex. Don’t brush off your partner’s worries about the state of your relationship.
To be sure, we shouldn’t do anything that might give others “the appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22), but we also can’t live in constant fear of how others might misinterpret our actions. According to Romans 14:4, “Who are you to judge the servant of another?” Servants rise or fall at the discretion of their master. And they will be strong, for the Lord can make them strong. Our ultimate goal should be God’s approval, not that of man’s (1 Thessalonians 2:4).
Women and men are different. One danger of surrounding oneself exclusively with people of the same sex is the development of a confirmation bias. Maintaining deep connections with people of the opposite sex is crucial. One thing you can expect is that they will each have their own unique interpretation of you. In their own unique way, they will support, love, serve, and motivate you. They may see areas that need improvement that you and your partner have grown accustomed to or that you have chosen to ignore.
There is a clear command in the Bible for us to develop deep friendships within the body of Christ. From now on until the end of time, we will serve God in worship and praise. Christ has united men and women into one (Galatians 3:28). Absolutely, we need to take measures to guard our good name. We must avoid temptation at all costs. But meaningful relationships between men and women in the body of Christ can be helpful, edifying, encouraging, and most of all honoring and glorifying to God.
