What makes a good husband? The perfect husband has to possess these important characteristics according to the bible. Learn what characteristics a good husband should have and apply these great tips to your marriage. Continue reading to know the Characteristics of a good husband according to the bible, qualities of a christian husband and father and characteristics of a good man according to the bible.
According to the Bible, a good husband is defined by his ability to love and care for his wife. This can be tricky since the nature of marriage is that there are two distinct parties involved. In order for a marriage to work well, both partners must be willing to put in effort to make sure that they are getting what they need out of it.
There are several characteristics that make up a good husband from a biblical perspective. These include being loving, kind, compassionate, and helpful. These characteristics should be reflected in all aspects of your marriage including how you treat each other as well as how you treat others outside of your marriage.
In the Bible, a husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the church. This love is selfless and sacrificial. A good husband should be a leader, providing for his family and leading them in their relationship with God. He should be a provider, working hard to make sure that his family has what they need to live well. He should be an encourager, building up his wife and encouraging her when she feels discouraged or down on herself.
A good husband should also be willing to put aside his needs and wants for the sake of his wife’s desires. He should be willing to sacrifice time, money, energy, and even himself if necessary in order to meet her needs. Finally, a good husband should strive to know his wife better than anyone else (including himself) so that he can meet her needs better than anyone else would ever be able to do it!
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Characteristics Of A Good Husband According To The Bible
Finding a good husband seems to be difficult nowadays. With all the news and stories of infidelity, abuse, and other sins committed by husbands against their own wives, we cannot blame the single ladies to be cautious and afraid. Besides, marriage is a lifetime commitment. Once you marry someone, you cannot easily be free again.
However, remember that there are still a lot of guys who are good and kind-hearted enough to be an ideal husband. In fact, it is not about gender. Both husbands and wives commit mistakes and both of them can still change for the better.
To ensure a healthy and successful marriage, couples turn to God and make Him the center of their relationship. And if you are still a single lady waiting for that perfect man to spend the rest of your life with, the Holy Scriptures are here to guide you.
Qualities of a Christian Husband And Father
The words of God can guide and teach you how to find the right man to marry and build a happy family. Here are 21 qualities of a good husband according to the Bible that you should look for in a man.
1. Independence
“But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;” – Mark 10:6-7 KJV
2. Affection
“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:3 NKJV
3. Loyalty and commitment
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV
4. Leadership
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.” – Ephesians 5:22-23 KJV
5. Self-love
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” – Ephesians 5:28 KJV
6. Trust and confidence
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” – Proverbs 31:10-11 KJV
7. Appreciation
“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” – Proverbs 31:28 KJV
8. Godliness
“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.” – Hosea 2:19-20 ESV
9. Spirituality
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23 KJV
10. Honesty
“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.” – Proverbs 12:22 KJV
11. Forgiveness
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” – Colossians 3:13 KJV
12. Righteousness
“The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” – Proverbs 3:33 NIV
13. Contentment
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.” – Exodus 20:17 KJV
14. Courage
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” – 1 John 4:18 ESV
15. Patience
“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man, thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. – Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV
16. Good influence
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV
5 Marks Of A Biblical Husband
I meet very few husbands today who feel like they do not have enough to do. It is quite the opposite! Between work, home, wives, children, and church, we husbands sometimes feel overwhelmed by the tasks and obligations that we are responsible for. There is a subtle danger here: In the midst of the busyness of life, it is easy to lose sight of the priorities that should guide us in our responsibilities to our wives, children and the Lord.
Five Priorities of Being a Godly Husband
First Priority: Love God (Deuteronomy 6:5)
love god to be a godly husband
Once a week I lead a group of nine seminary students who come together to talk and pray about being godly husbands. At our first meeting, we established that being a godly husband is not first and foremost about technique and it is not first and foremost about learning the latest relational skills. No, being a godly husband begins with being a godly man, and being a godly man begins with loving God above all else.
Our Lord Jesus himself said that the greatest commandment was to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30; see Deuteronomy 6:5). This is the greatest commandment because God has created us first and foremost to be in a relationship with himself. This is the foundation of life and foundation for our marriage. If God is not our greatest priority, we have no foundation upon which to build our lives or our marriages.
So what does this look like for husbands? First, it means obedience. Loving God above all else is not first and foremost a feeling, it is first and foremost obedience to his Word. Notice how Jesus defines what it means to love him: “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me” (John 14:21a). Loving God above all else will mean repenting of any known sin in our lives and surrendering the control of our lives to God.
Loving God above all else will also mean that we seek to cultivate our relationship with him. This is done primarily through reading his Word, prayer, and fellowshipping with other believers through church and through spending time together. It is important for us to be committed to these things but also to be realistic about what stage of life we are in – be flexible according to your time constraints and set your expectations accordingly.
Second Priority: Love Your Wife (Ephesians 5:25-29)
Love your wife to be a godly husband
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her …” (Ephesians 5:25). This is a sobering command! Consider the implications carefully: The way that you love your wife should be a reflection of how Jesus loves the church. To put it a bit more practically still: Your wife should know what Jesus’ love is like simply by the way that you love her.
So what was Jesus’ love for the church like? Above all else it was self-sacrificing. “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her …” (Ephesians 5:25). Husbands will love their wives the way that Jesus loved the church when they live self-sacrificing lives in marriage and put their wives’ good ahead of their own.
Perhaps one of the most practical steps we could take is simply to ask our wives: “Honey, are there any areas in our marriage where you do not feel like I am loving you? Are there any areas where you feel like I am putting myself ahead of you and your good?” These are bold questions to ask! Moreover, we should not ask them if we are not willing to hear the suggestions that might come! But if we are serious about loving our wives as Christ loved the church, we will probably need our wife’s help in order to understand how better to love her.
Consider seeking out a brother whose marriage you respect and meet together on a regular basis to pray about being a godly husband. God consistently tells us in his Word that relationships and accountability are powerful tools for growth (see Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Hebrews 10:24-25). How can you make use of these tools to love your wife better?
Third Priority: Manage Your Family (Ephesians 6:4)
Manage your family to be a godly husband
Parents are exhorted to bring up their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7a the Lord commands: “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.” Fathers, in particular, are commanded to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
This last verse contains an important contrast: exasperating children vs. bringing them up in the instruction of the Lord. Yes, children are supposed to obey their parents (vv. 1-3). “But fathers,” Paul says, “do not make this difficult for them!” (v. 4). Godly fathers are not dictators who need to prove their authority by constantly giving orders and commands and making new rules. Instead, godly fathers focus on helping their children to understand who the Lord is – they want their children to know that God’s ways are good ways and that his commands are for their good.
- Since God is the perfect Father, one of the most practical things we can do is get to know God better. What is his character like? How does he respond to us as his children? As we grow in our understanding of who God is and how he relates to us, we will grow in our understanding of how we are to relate to our children.
- A second step to take is to seek out the counsel of those who have gone before us. Søren Kierkegaard once said, “We have to live life forwards, but can only understand life backward.” The trick, then, is to find someone whose “backward” is your “forwards”! Seeking out a godly father for wisdom and advice is invaluable.
Fourth Priority: Provide for Your Family (2 Thessalonians 3:10-12)
provide for your family to be a godly husband
The importance of providing for our families should not be missed: “For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: ‘If a man will not work, he shall not eat’” (2 Thessalonians 3:10). Paul is not talking here of those who earnestly desire work and have been laid off or are struggling to find a job. He is talking about those who are lazy. Thus he continues: “We hear that some among you are idle … Such people, we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat” (vv. 11-12).
Providing for our families presents at least two different challenges. On the one hand, some of us find that our jobs can be unenjoyable and frustrating. On the other hand, some of us choose to let our jobs take a higher priority than our wives, families or even God himself.
- The first thing we need to do is recognize that we are called to be faithful servants of Christ in whatever job we have. When Paul writes to Christians who are slaves he gives this advice: “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does” (Ephesians 6:7-8). Even if we don’t enjoy it, we need to be faithful to God in the work that he has provided.
- If we are letting our jobs take a higher priority than our families and God, we need to repent. Of course, there will always be times when our jobs demand more of us than at other times, but many men make the mistake of feeding their egos and ambition through their accomplishments at work at the expense of their wife, children, and relationship with God.
Fifth Priority: Be Involved in a Local Church (Hebrews 10:25)
be involved in your local church to be a godly husband
My wife, Carolyn, and I have some good friends who live in England. For a while, things were a real struggle in their married life. The turnaround began with two things. First, the husband began to cultivate his relationship with God. He is a corporate lawyer, and very busy, but loving God was so important to him that he began meeting on a weekly basis with another brother to pray. Second, he and his family got involved in a good, Bible-believing and Bible-teaching church. This was very instrumental in his growth as a husband and in the growth of his entire family in the Lord.
The practical step to take here is quite obvious: get involved in a good local church that believes in the Bible and teaches it well! Involvement in a local church is not an option for the Christian: it is a command. “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). This is absolutely essential to the spiritual well-being of your family.