You may be feeling guilty or unfulfilled in your relationship if you dream about cheating on your partner. If you have trust issues with your partner or are afraid they will leave, you may have dreams about being cheated on. Fears, unfulfilled needs, and other issues in a relationship are topics that could benefit from a candid discussion.
So, you have this dream again. You’ve only recently started having these dreams but it’s a recurring theme. Your girlfriend is cheating on you with your best friend or a mutual friend. You’re in the same room together but they are covertly talking to each other and nobody notices, not even you. But you know what’s going on. The question that arises for most of us at this point is what do these dreams mean?
Dreams have an odd way of telling us what we need to know. But a dream about cheating on your girlfriend is sending you a message. And it’s not “cheating on your girlfriend.” It’s not even that you’ve been cheating anyway. It’s that you feel like it, and feeling like something doesn’t make it morally “okay” just because you aren’t actually doing it.
Spiritual Meaning Of Dreams About Cheating
If you dream of cheating on your girlfriend, it can mean a number of things.
It’s important to note that dreaming about cheating on someone is not always a bad thing. In some cases, it can be a sign of self-reproach or guilt; in others, it may indicate that you are feeling trapped or trapped by the relationship you’re in.
But if the dream is more than just a fleeting thought, and instead a recurring one that makes you feel guilty or anxious when you wake up, this could be an indication that something needs to change in your relationship. You might want to consider talking with your partner about how you’re feeling, so that they can help support you through whatever transition is happening in your life right now.
Dreaming of cheating on your girlfriend is a sign that you have trust issues, and you’re feeling insecure about your relationship. You are probably feeling pressured to make a decision about something in real life, and this is manifesting itself as dreams of cheating on your girlfriend. If you do dream of cheating on your significant other, remember that it’s just a dream and not reality. In order for dreams to be meaningful, they must be recurring or connected to events in your waking life. If it’s just one dream, it’s probably not worth worrying too much about.
Dream About Cheating On Boyfriend And Feeling Guilty
1) It’s a memory with unprocessed feelings attached
A simple explanation for this dream is that it’s based on a memory. Perhaps you’ve cheated on an ex or your current girlfriend in the past.
Certified dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg points out that infidelity is especially difficult to heal from: “Even if it has been years or decades since the transgression, the emotional scar often remains.”
She goes on to say that you may be having these dreams because something in your life is triggering a feeling of guilt. This is the emotion most commonly associated with cheating.
But of course, you might have other bottled up emotions tied to the experience. For example, you might be afraid that you’ll end up cheating again, or feel angry at yourself for having done it in the first place.
Whatever the case, if you still have unprocessed feelings about what you’ve done, and you’re not dealing with them in real life, they will seep into your dreams.
What to do about it
If your dreams uncover unprocessed feelings about cheating on someone in the past, you could consider journaling or therapy. If you’re still with this person, you’ll need to work together to rebuild trust.
On the other hand, if something in your current relationship is triggering guilt, you could talk with your girlfriend about what’s bothering you.
The key lies in working through the emotions causing the dream.
2) Your parent or someone else close to you cheated
Our own memories can make up the substance of our dreams — but we can also embody an experience we only heard about.
You’ll know if this is the right interpretation if you wake up with the thought, “this is like what my mother/father did.”
This interpretation is put forward by Dr. Deirdre Leigh Barrett, assistant professor of psychology who teaches courses on dreaming at Harvard University.
As she explains, you may be identifying with one of your parents — and possibly literally with a
Does this mean you’ll follow in their footsteps?
Of course not!
This kind of dream is much more about your relationship with this parent than your relationship with your girlfriend.
What to do about it
Your subconscious mind took a tentative step towards identifying with someone who cheated, and now your waking mind must walk the rest of the mile.
Explore what emotions and thoughts the dream uncovers about this person:
- What’s your relationship with them like?
- Does their cheating change the way you see them?
- How do you feel about what they did?
If you dig deeper, these dreams can be a catalyst to working through unresolved issues in your relationships.
3) You feel sexually dissatisfied
Dreams can have all sorts of outlandish explanations – but they can also be exactly what they seem.
Clinical psychologist Dr. John Mayer explains:
“Sex dreams about cheating on your partner are common in relationships where there are sexual problems, sexual dysfunction, and even non-sexual conflicts and dysfunctions.”
In some way you don’t feel fulfilled in your relationship, so your mind is creating fantasies. Obviously, this doesn’t mean you should cheat, or that you can’t get what you want from your relationship.
In fact, Dr. Mayer points out that these dreams are positive in some ways because they allow your desires to be explored in a way that doesn’t require actual infidelity.
What to do about it
Think about the particularities of your dream:
- Where was it?
- How were you feeling?
- Who was the woman?
- What exactly did you do?
If you felt especially drawn to some details, this could point out where you feel dissatisfied in real life. Think about if there’s any way you can bring these things into your relationship.
4) You feel emotionally dissatisfied
You and your girlfriend might have the time of your lives in bed. But you could still be about another woman if you feel emotionally dissatisfied.
Relationship psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish says:
“How you feel in the dream is the key to how you are feeling in real life. For instance, you may have felt a euphoric sense of abandon and freedom. Could you be feeling constricted within your relationship and wanting more freedom?”
In other words, your dreams might be showing you what emotions you’re missing in real life.
What to do about it
Whenever you want your girlfriend to give you something, a great way to get it is to give it to her first.
Model what you want her to do. She may automatically adapt and follow your lead.
Of course, goes a long way too. Talk to her about what you could both invest in the relationship to make it more fulfilling.
5) They are triggered by matching emotions
Certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman says dreams often sprout from emotions in our real lives:
“The emotion you’re experiencing in the dream is very real and coming from a very real place.”
The first thing to do is to identify what those emotions are exactly. Common ones are guilt, insecurity, jealousy, boredom, anxiety, anger, and overwhelm.
You’ll notice these emotions are all negative. This makes sense once we hear what assistant professor of psychology Dr. Barrett has to say about cheating dreams:
“I would expect your associations to be much more likely to lean toward something wrong in your relationship.”
What to do about it
Zimmerman suggests that a cheating dream gives you an opportunity to take stock of your relationship.
Depending on what exactly is wrong, you might be able to salvage it. Or, it might be the lightbulb moment that it’s time to call it quits.
Either way, acknowledging this issue is much better than continuing to ignore it.
What science says about cheating on your girlfriend in a dream
Science hasn’t found any conclusive explanation for dreams — but one theory in particular is worth considering here.
6) It’s a jumble of information from your day
Data dump theory says dreams are a byproduct of your brain sifting through the day’s information. It stores the important things in memory, and clears the rest.
There is both evidence and speculation about this theory, but it’s clear that sleep does play a role in memory.
So your dream about cheating on your girlfriend might be stitched together from things you saw, read, or heard the previous day.
It might have been so insignificant that you don’t even remember it anymore — but your brain can take it, blow it up, and transform it into a steamy affair.
What to do about it
You can always find if you look hard enough, but sometimes a dream is just a dream. In this case, there is nothing in particular for you to do.
However, if you feel that the dream is significant, or it leaves you with a feeling that you can’t shake, explore other possible meanings below to see which one hits home.
What does it mean to dream about cheating on your girlfriend? 12 more explanations
7) Something is missing from your life
A dream you cheated on your girlfriend might not be about the sex, your girlfriend, or the other woman. It could just be about you.
After all, the dirty deed happened entirely in your head.
This is best said by Dr. Barrett, Harvard assistant professor of psychology who teaches about dreaming:
“Having sex with someone can represent wanting to merge with some quality that this person has. And it might just have nothing to do, one way or the other, with how you’re feeling about your partner.”
In other words, you might want to embody a trait the woman in your dream has.
On the other hand, this dream could be expressing your frustration or unhappiness with something in your life.
Relationship psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish explains:
“You might also be dreaming about cheating on your partner if you’re having trouble facing important issues in your life, such as your career and your fear of making changes.”
What to do about it
Dr. Walfish suggests journaling to get to the bottom of the issue:
“Instead of falling into the trap of taking your dream literally, use your dream to review your life and fears and overall life goals. Focus on learning about you! Keep a diary and reread the sections, to learn about you.”
8) You feel guilty about something
Did you feel a stab of guilt before you even woke up?
This emotion is probably drawn from real life. And it might have nothing to do with romantic fidelity.
Professional dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg points out:
“I’ve had clients experience the cheating dream when they’d been cheating on their diet or their addiction recovery. Interestingly enough, experiencing that particular guilt in their dreams helped to reinforce their resolve to stick to their diet or recovery.”
What to do about it
Try following your guilt to its root.
Maybe you’re concerned about something you said or did. You could also feel you’re cheating your partner out of quality time due to a demanding job, family commitments, or personal hobbies.
When you identify what you feel bad about, you’ll be able to make amends for it.
9) It’s compensation for a dry spell
Are you currently in a long distance relationship?
Your dream might be your mind trying to compensate for the lack of physical intimacy.
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Lauri Loewenberg says:
“When we go through a dry spell, we’ll find ourselves having a series of naughty dreams because our body has to make up for what it isn’t getting otherwise.”
But why is there another woman in the dream?
This doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is on the fritz. According to data dump theory, which we explored above, the brain can pull inspiration from random details from our day.
Glimpsing a woman on the bus can be all it takes to have her suddenly starring in your nocturnal affair.
What to do about it
A relationship can wane without physical intimacy.
If you’re not able to improve this directly, try spending more quality time with your girlfriend in whatever way you can.
Sure, talking to her on Skype isn’t the same thing. But emotional intimacy is one of the secrets to maintaining long-term attraction. Focusing on this can get you both through this period.