When speaking to or writing to a pastor and his wife, you should use the formal forms of address. This is because pastors are considered to be in positions of authority due to their religious roles. If you don’t know of any special titles, use Mr., Mrs., or Ms., whichever is most appropriate. For a male pastor with a wife, you would write, “The Reverend and Mrs. Mark Smith.” If they don’t share a last name, you would write, “The Reverend Mark Smith and Ms.
Generally, in the Pentecostal/Non-Denominational faith, a Pastor/Bishop’s wife is called “1st Lady or Lady,” preceded by her surname, out of respect & honor; also, if she holds a “Doctorate of Divinity,” her title which she can also be acknowledged by, would be “Lady/Dr.” In summary, “the Reverend” is a term of address that you would or could use in writing to clergy or in introducing them. “Pastor” is a more intimate term of relationship, and it may be used as a single word or in combination with the first or last name of the pastor.
How To Address A Pastor And His Wife
The time may come when you want to contact a pastor and their spouse. Since pastors hold places of esteem in the Christian church, you’ll want to address them using the right title to show respect. By properly addressing formal correspondence, sending casual correspondence and talking in person, you can make a good impression on this important community figure and their partner.
Method1Addressing Formal Envelopes
- 1Use the title “The Reverend” on formal envelopes. Write “The Reverend” followed by the pastor’s full name on the exterior envelope. This formal title is appropriate for both Protestant and Catholic denominations of Christianity. This would be the most typical way of addressing the pastor, if you were inviting them to an event or sending a formal request, for example.[1]
- If your pastor’s name is Mark Smith, you would address your envelope “The Reverend Mark Smith.”
- Gender does not matter. The title is the same. Jill Poe would be “The Reverend Jill Poe.”
- If both people in the couple are pastors and share a last name, you address them both as “The Reverends” and then the last name. So pastors Joe and Sally Carr would be “The Reverends Carr.”
- 2Include degrees for any pastors with doctorates. List the pastor’s degree at the end of the name, or add “Dr.” after the religious title. This ensures that you give the pastor their full formal title based on their vocation and education. This applies to degrees for Doctors of Ministry, Doctors of Theology, Doctors of Divinity and most other applicable religious doctorates.[3]
- If your pastor Mark Smith has a Ph.D, you would address the formal envelope “The Reverend Dr. Mark Smith” or “The Reverend Mark Smith, Ph.D.” Both are equally acceptable.
- 3Address the spouse separately with any appropriate titles. Address the spouse of the pastor after the pastor on the envelope, unless the spouse is in the military. If you don’t know of any special titles, use Mr., Mrs., or Ms., whichever is most appropriate. [4]
- For a male pastor with a wife, you would write, “The Reverend and Mrs. Mark Smith.” If they don’t share a last name, you would write, “The Reverend Mark Smith and Ms. Molly Doe.”[5]
- For a female pastor with a husband, you would write, “The Reverend Zoe Deen and Mr. John Deen.” If they don’t share a last name, you would write, “The Reverend Zoe Deen and Mr. John Canton.[6]
- If the pastor’s spouse has another title that is more appropriate than Mr., Mrs., or Ms. you should use that title, instead. This might be the case when the spouse has a doctorate.[7]
- For example, for a pastor with a spouse who is a doctor, you would write, “The Reverend Jim Price and Dr. Samantha Price” or “The Reverend Maxine Su and Dr. James Su.”
- 4Find out if the congregation is historically African-American. In many black churches, the wife of the pastor is known as the “First Lady.” You should address her as such after the pastor on your formal correspondence, if this applies. Consult with a member of the congregation to see if the church uses this custom before using this title. There is no such corresponding title if the pastor is a woman and her husband is a man.[8]
- A male pastor and his wife in such a church would be addressed, “The Reverend Ronnie Franklin and First Lady Linda Franklin.”
- 5Factor in military rank when addressing a formal letter. Place the spouse before the pastor on the envelope if they are member of the armed services. Use the person’s military title as well as the branch of the military they serve in. A member of the military, whether active or retired, has higher social standing than a civilian, which is the reason they appear first.[9]
- For example, you would address a pastor and his wife who is a colonel as follows, “Colonel Jane Wilton, US Army and The Reverend Max Wilton.”
